Best Of 2012

Every year I try to take a look back at the last year of music and figure out what my favorites of the last 12 months were.  It's usually quite easy for me to determine my very top 1 or 2 albums, but after that, I can never accurately rank these things.  So here are the 10 albums that came out in 2012 that I've enjoyed the most, in no particular order unless I've given it an actual rank. 


Walking Papers - Walking Papers

Walking Papers is a new band from Seattle.  Barrett Martin is the driving force behind this band.  Some of you may recognize his name from his time in The Screaming Trees, a highly underrated Seattle band from back in the day.  Filling out the group is Jeff Angell on vocals, Benjamin Anderson on keyboards, and the mighty Duff McKagan on bass.  This album was mixed by the legendary Jack Endino and features some tasty guitar playing from Mike McCready of a little band called Pearl Jam.  This album has been my most listened to for the last month and it continues to grow on me.  Here's a taste...

Van Halen - A Different Kind Of Truth

Probably the most pleasantly suprising album of the year.  No one had any right to expect this album to be as good as it is.  Diamond Dave hasn't done anything memorable musically in years and the Van Halen brothers, and more to the point, Eddie, has been a train wreck for the majority of the last decade.  This album had been talked about for a couple of years and word wasn't opptimistic.  Different producers, issues internally, etc., etc.  But lo' and behold it came out this year and is a blast.  The fact that they chose the worst song on the album, "Tattoo", as the first single meant many didn't give this a chance, but this is as close to classic Van Halen as you're going to get in the year 2012...and it's pretty damn close.  Here's a taste...

The Darkness - Hot Cakes

Yep...the Darkness.  The "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" band. First of all, this has to be the best album cover of the year.  Hot chicks on "hot cakes" covered in syrup.  Doesn't get much more rock n' roll than that. I wasn't a huge fan of the Darkness there first go around.  Found them a bit hokey and Justin Hawkins vocals weren't my bag.  They broke up for a bit while he struggled with drug and drink and they all struggled with maintaining any sort of relevance.  They reconvened and this is the result.  This is the perfect 5 o'clock on a Friday and driving away from the office album.  Nothing new here musically and some pretty juvenile lyrics, but so much fun.  The suprise here is there totally rockin' cover of Radiohead's "Street Spirit" which, dare I say, is better than the original.  Also, the Queen inspired vocals are better than ever.  Here's a taste...

Coheed and Cambria - The Afterman: Ascension

Coheed are back with another great album.  "Year Of The Black Rainbow", while good, was not great and the very public issues that resulted from their bass player going "off the reservation" left me less than hopeful that they would return to their previous greatness. This is part one of a two part concept album that fits in the ever grander concept that has run throughout all of their albums.  Josh Eppard has returned on drums and finds them looser than they've been in years. It's all over in a relatively quick 40 minutes, but leaves you wanting more.  Claudio has outdone himself.  "Domino The Destitute" is simply amazing.  Here's a taste...

Rush -Clockwork Angels














These guys defy any reasonable expectations by seemingly getting better with every passing year.  This album is the best thing they've done in years, which is saying something as they've consistently put out great music longer than most of you bothering to read this have been alive. This album rocks as hard as anything they've done with songs like "Carnies" and "Headlong Flight".  Flip the coin and you have the beauty of a song like "The Garden" or "Halo Effect".  Just greatness from start to finish.  Here's a taste...

Foxy Shazam - The Church Of Rock and Rock and Roll

You MUST see this band live.  Absolutely the most entertaining band you will see in concert.  Eric Sean Nally, their lead singer is as flamboyant as Freddie Mercury but as unpredictable as Iggy Pop in his glory days.  This album was produced by Justin Hawkins of The Darkness and the sound is thick and glorious.  If "I Like It" doesn't make you move, you have no heartbeat.  The group vocals of Queen with the monster drum sound of Zeppelin put together to make the best dance record you aren't dancing to.  These guys should be huge. Here's a taste...

Gary Clark Jr. -Blak and Blu

Gary Clark Jr. is a guy that has had a ton of buzz surrounding his name for awhile.  From Austin, he's gained a reputation as an incredible guitar player and known for his amazing performances.  This is his first major label album and, for the most part, doesn't disappoint.  I would say this feels less like an "album" and more like a collection of songs.  There has definitely been some "polish" added to his music and while I prefer the more raw sounds of his previous ep's, there is no denying the songwriting and playing throughout.  And for the record, my 2 year old's favorite "grown up" song of the year is "Travis County"...she loves singing the "Woo ooo ooo" parts.  Great stuff. Here's a taste...just for Maddie.

3. Baroness - Yellow & Green

A truly epic album and statement from Baroness.  Many of their fans have voiced some negativity regarding the expansion of Baroness' sound to include more melodic touches and instrumentation, but this seems like a natural progression to my ears and makes for a magical album.  The album is split into two pieces, the "Yellow" portion and the "Green" portion.  The "Green" side contains the songs that are getting the most attention for going into left field.  The acoustic solo in "Mtns" is exquisite and the experimentation in "Collapse" is refreshing and makes for a more diverse listening experience.  This thing is deep and I still find myself uncovering little nuggets of goodness with each listen.  Here's a taste...

2. Flying Colors  -Flying Colors

A progressive super group of sorts.  Dave LaRue from the Dixie Dregs, Steve Morse of the Dregs and Deep Purple, Neal Morse of Spock's Beard and solo work, Casey McPherson of Austin's Endochine and Alpha Rev and the incomparable Mike Portnoy got together to make an exquisite album.  There is more pop song structure and melodic goodness then what you would expect from this group and I believe it all leads back to McPherson.  While he is the least known of the collective, he also has a foot firmly planted in pop music and that does nothing but make this prog-ish album more concise and catchy.  For my money, the best song of the year is "The Storm".  Here's a taste....

1. Slash - Apocalyptic Love

I'm as suprised as you are.  I've got some loyalty to Slash and more than anything that was what caused me to buy this disc.  Yet, it keeps finding its' way back into my regular rotation and sounds just as great as the first time I heard it.  There is absolutely nothing groundbreaking here, but what you will find is straight up rock and roll done exceptionally well.  Myles Kennedy is a phenomonal vocalist who takes already great songs and elevates them to another level completely.  This thing is better than anything Slash has had his hands on since Appetite.  For real.  Better than Velvet Revolver.  Better than his previous solo work.  BETTER THAN EITHER OF THE USE YOUR ILLUSION ALBUMS.  There.  I said it.  This album is a perfect 10 and is without question my number one album of 2012.  Here's a taste...

The Magic of Mom

The other day Christie, Maddie and I were playing and Maddie fell down and scraped her toe.  She started crying and immediately passed me by to get to her Mom. I have to be honest and say there was a small part of me that wished she would have wanted to come to me to make her feel better, but then I remembered the magic of Mom's. 

You see, I always thought that my Mom was magical, but witnessing first hand that my daughter went to Christie for comfort, I started to think that the powers that my Mom has are nothing special, as it appears that it is a common trait of all mothers.  Maybe my Mom was no different than your Mom or anyone else's. 

The whole train of thought made me really think about my Mom and whether she really was as magical as I believe, or just the extremely biased views of a loving son.  Sure, she has been there to pick me up more times than I could even try to count.  She has sacrificed most of her life to give my brother and I so much, both in the material sense but also the emotional sense.  I think of all the times she believed in me when I had no belief in myself.  Yep, that's all magical to me, but what about to the rest of the world?

Then I thought about a Christmas years and years ago.  I was probably in Jr. High at the time.  We had some neighbors that might have been struggling financially but were extremely proud and would not accept assitance.  So Mom went out and bought a whole Christmas dinner...turkey, dressing, the whole lot.  I remember setting it on their porch, ringing the doorbell and running to hide.  I remember looking from behind a parked car as they opened the door and stood in amazement as they looked upon the food that was left for them. 

I thought about the fact that my Mom with a few other ladies gets birthday dates from the local nursing home and they get a cake and a few small gifts and show up to celebrate a complete stranger's birthday. Spending time with people that most of society has choosen to forget.  Letting these people know that they are not forgotten and are still loved.

I thought about the Christmas that my Dad died.  My Pops died on Thursday, December 22.  It's impossible to get a funeral arranged in 24 hours, so you do the math.  That's right, we had to go through Christmas, knowing that we still had to bury my Father.  If it was up to me, we would have not celebrated Christmas that year.  It should have been the worst Christmas ever...and in many ways, it was.  But I think about my Mom putting her foot down and letting her family know in no uncertain terms that we WOULD be celebrating Christmas.  In retrospect, some of my most treasured Christmas memories come from that difficult season.  All because my Mom understood the importance of going through it even if we didn't want to.

I thought about how now that she's retired, she has told me on at least a half dozen occasions that she went to a funeral at the church of someone she may not have even known personally, but she just wanted to make sure that there were people there.  She told me how blessed she felt to have so many present for my Dad's funeral and the least she can do is repay that to other's who may be going through loss.

I thought about the fact that my Mom probably keeps Hallmark in business.  There is a good chance that if you're reading this, you've gotten a card, or 20 from my Mom.  My friends tell me often about getting a card in the mail from my Mom and I've heard that story from so many people.  She loves to let people know she is thinking of them and it amazes me how many people she does this for.

I came to the conclusion that my Mom IS magical.  Sure all Mother's have a certain magic with their kids and that is amazing and beautiful and sent from God.  And my Mom has that "Mother Magic"....but I truly believe that her magic transcends the "Mother Magic" and is felt by so many people.  The neighbors who got a mysterious Christmas dinner, the elderly folks who had a stranger show up to celebrate their birthday, the people who are mourning the loss of a loved one that look over their shoulder to see my Mom paying respects, the countless people that receive cards for birthdays, holidays and special occasions.  It's pretty obvious that it is no trick of light nor slight of hand.  My Mom is amazing.

Tomorrow is her birthday and I thought it might be a good time to share with the people in my world how blessed I am to have the Mom that I do.  I'm so happy to get to celebrate another birthday with her and know the next year will continue to be magical for all that are priviledged to be loved by her.

The wonder of Underwear....

This morning as Christie and I were getting around and preparing for another day of work I noticed something quite peculiar.  Christie already had on her dress and her shoes....and walked over to our dresser and pulled out a pair of underwear and proceed to put them on.  "Wow", I thought....I've never, ever put my underwear on last. That is something that I would never do, not because I think it's wrong, but just because in all my years on this rock, it's never even crossed my mind.  Which then made me think of all the ways that Christie is different than me and it was revelatory.

Anyone that knows me knows that I'm an emotional guy.  Unlike most guys, I operate from an emotional center.  My emotions, for better or worse, lead the way in most of my life.  Christie, however, is someone that is fact based.  She is able to make decisions based on the facts that are present and able to do so without allowing emotion to enter, most of the time.  I think it's amazing and I often come to her and run something past her, because I'm aware that my emotions sometimes lead me astray and always appreciate that Christie can provide me with a rational view of whatever situation I may be facing. 

I've been called "cheap" before. More than once.  I prefer to think of it as "cost conscientous", but whatever.  I can be a little tight with money.  Whenever something is needed I always see the item as a dollar sign.  How much is this going to cost us?  Christie is way more relaxed with money.  Not overly relaxed, but quite opposite of me.  She is a "fixer".  If there is something that needs attending she thinks of the solution, without thinking about the cost that comes with whatever the solution may be.  If left to my own devices, I would probably let things get well past their "best used by" date in order to save a dollar or two.  This is not always a good idea.  Christie over our relationship has helped me view money a "little" more relaxed.  We compliment each other very nicely.  I've learned to loosen up a bit and perhaps I've helped her save a little bit.  It works.

If it was up to me, I would probably be fairly close to a hermit.  I'm not naturally a super sociable person.  Don't get me wrong, I love people, but I tend to get anxious around a group of people in a small room.  Christie, on the other hand, loves to "entertain" and be with people.  I have no doubt that the connections I have with the people in my life are infinitely stronger as a direct result of Christie's need to often prod me out the door.  She's also taught me that having people over is not as bad as I sometimes irrationally think it will be. 

These are just a couple of examples, but as you can tell we are as different as the way we put on underwear.  It's easy for me to look at these examples and realize that not only is my life better as a result of having Christie in it, but I'm a better person as a direct result of her presence in my life.  How lucky am I?  Damn lucky...

That line in the movie Jerry Maguire that is so widely known...."You complete me"...a bunch of crap.  Don't believe that any person can complete you.  I would like to think that I was a complete person prior to Christie's arrival in my life. "1" is a whole number.  According to Google, "whole" is defined thus:
         Whole- Adjective: All of, entire -Noun: A thing that is complete in itself: "a coherent whole". 
However, if you ask a mathamatician they will tell you that "1" is an "odd" number.  I have no problem admitting that I was an odd "1" most of my life.  I was complete, but odd, no doubt.  Christie entered my life as a whole "1" as well.  But the beautiful thing about our relationship is that when we are together we become "2" and that my friends, is even.

Christie has made me even in so many ways and there is not a day that goes by that I don't count my blessings for her presence in my life.  I am aware that every good thing that has happened in my life since her arrival can in some way be attributed to her decision to hang with me.  Today is Christie's birthday.  Significant day in my world because so much of my world begins and ends with her. So today I celebrate the person who made me "even".  I love her so very much and thought you might want to know how amazing she is, not that you needed to read this to know that....Even if she puts her underwear on weird.

I love you Christie Fitzgerald....happy birthday.

Don't be the cow....

I saw a cow in a beautiful pasture this weekend....

This pasture hadn't been eaten up by the ravages of a Texas summer yet, still had plenty of green grass around.  Looked pretty much like a cow's paradise, as far as I could tell.  Yet the cow was all the way up to the fence line, trying to pry it's head between the wires of the fence in order to grab some of the grass just on the other side.  Stupid cow...

Then I thought a bit more and realized how often I'm a stupid cow.  Have been blessed beyond measure yet not satisfied.  Wanting what's on the other side of the "fence".  Here's what I've found about fences though.  There is a crap load of them.  As soon as you get over one, there's another waiting for you.  Our society has become quite the fence makers, it would seem. 

Hey, here's the Iphone 4...this phone will make you waffles for breakfast.  FENCE....Here's the Iphone 4"S".  This phone is ten times better because it will tell you a story while it makes you waffles.

Here's a perfectly good pair of shoes that will do everything a pair of shoes should do.  FENCE...Here's a shoe that will magically take inches off of your butt while you do nothing more than wear them.

But it's not just corporate America that are fence makers.  We are quite adept at making fences ourselves.  I have a beautiful house.  The nicest house I've ever lived in.  More room than we use or need.  Yet I suddenly have a FENCE because they are building new homes right across the way and man those houses look really nice.  Bigger patio, more square footage...one of those would be a better house, I know it.

You just recently started working out and you are feeling great about it.  Feel better, have more energy, more confidence, taking steps in the right direction.  FENCE...hey you're old friend that you haven't seen in 15 years just posted on Facebook that they started working out recently and have already lost 12 lbs.  Suddenly, you are not happy with what you were completely content with before....you want what's on the other side of the fence.

You get the point.  It's everything you want, until you have it, then it's not quite enough.  Now I'm all for bettering yourself and striving to become a better you.  But I have a sneakin' suspicion that most of us are spending so much time trying to get through the fence that we forget all that is already in our proverbial "pasture". 

If you would have told the 14 year old me that I would have the family that I have, the job that I love, and all the "stuff" that I've acquired, that 14 year old kid would be stoked.  That's more than he thought was possible.  Yet here I am, blessed beyond measure, and still find myself scraping up my neck trying to get on the other side of the damn fence.  Stupid cow.

Do you think about your pasture?  How blessed you are with the people, opportunities and life that you've been given?  Do you lose sight of how good your life is, looking over the fence?  Don't be the cow.

Brothers...

"To the outside world we all grow old.  But not to brothers and sisters.  We know each other as we always were.  We know each other's hearts.  We share private family jokes.  We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys.  We live outside the touch of time." ~Clara Ortega

This weekend I had the opportunity to spend some time with my big brother.  He and his lovely wife came down to go to a Rangers game with my beautiful bride and me.  It was a wonderful time and the only thing better than the ball game was the company.

J.P. (my brother) is 7 years older than I am.  You see my folks always wanted me, but they kinda thought I wouldn't be coming and then 7 years later, I arrive on the scene.  I wasn't a "mistake", but rather a "surprise".  I can live with that.  One of the earliest pictures there is of me is my brother in the yard, with me in his lap and a football resting on the blob of flesh that I was back then.  I love that picture.  My brother was excited to have me in his world and that picture proves it.  Which is good, because many of my childhood memories, don't line up with that picture.

As you can imagine, a brother 7 years younger can quite potentially cramp your style and not be able to offer much to you or your friends, and I was no different.  Most of the memories that my brother and I reminisce about have to do with one of us tormenting the other.  Like the time my brother, in front of his friends, was shooting a bb gun at a tree.  He told me he thought a bb stuck in the tree and for me to go look.  As I, just wanting to be a part of the action, run over to check the tree, I am quickly made aware of the trap I was lured into as my bro shot me in the butt with a bb.  The crazy thing is the bb, actually embedded into my butt.  I can vividly remember my mom doing minor surgery on me on the dining room table to remove the bb.  Brothers...

Or the time that JP and my cousin held me down and tickled me till I peed my pants.  Or the time he gave me such a wedgie in our front yard that the elastic of my tighty whities ripped off and he pulled it off over my head.  I think he might have worn the elastic as a headband for the rest of the day as a symbol of his victory.  Brothers...

I was no saint either though.  I remember the time he and my cousin were playing darts.  This was back in the day when darts were "real" with metal tips.  They wouldn't let me play and I REALLY wanted to play.  I can't remember the exact order of events, but I can tell you that I hit my brother in the middle of his back with a dart and it stuck.  And as it was in the middle of his back, he was not able to get it himself.  I probably got in trouble for that. Brothers...

Or the time I accidentally threw a water balloon into the open window of his parked truck.  Or the time he was driving home from work and I was playing basketball with my neighbor and decided to flip him off.  If there's one piece of advice I can give you from this blog it's this.  Do NOT flip JP off.  He's not a fan.  I really can't stress this more.  Brothers...

These are the stories that my family shares when we get together, and all have been told dozens of times.  Most of us can recite them in our sleep, yet they always entertain.  They always work.  I think they work because of the love that my brother and I so easily share for each other now. Yeah, I know, not a "manly" think to admit, but it's true.

For me, I think our relationship REALLY changed when my Father passed away.  I'm certain we would have come around to each other without my Dad dying, but I think that event really brought us together.  I remember going to my Dad's office and having to clean it out with my brother.  We suddenly were feeling the same pain and loss at the same time, while both wanting to also shelter and take care of my Mom as best we could.  Obviously he was better equipped for this than I who was still fairly young, but at least we had a common goal. Brothers...

I can safely say that we talk more now than we ever have. One of us calling the other once or twice a week and chatting on the way home.  He giving me advice about being a first time dad.  Me giving him advice about why Styx will always be better than REO Speedwagon.  The advice we give each other may not be equal in terms of weight, but I love that he asks my opinion on things.  Makes me feel like I've arrived in some way.

You see, outside of my Dad, I can't think of a better role model on what it looks like to be a husband, father, son, than my brother.  It used to drive me absolutely nuts.  Growing up in a small town, I would often have the same teachers that he had.  Of course I would always hear about how great a student JP was.  How well behaved and alert.  The grades he made.  It was a big shadow that I dealt with and it drove me nuts.  But as I get older, I realize that there is no other shadow I'd rather be in.  At the end of the day, the shadow is there because of the man my brother was/is and I love him for who he is.

Some people have shadows they try to escape from parents or siblings because those shadows are negative and they are trying to prove that just because their parent or sibling did bad things, they are not bad themselves.  I finally realize that I have a good shadow.  It's the shadow of a man who has consistently done right by his family and friends.  Shadows can sometimes be a good thing. 

We are way different.  My life has not been a carbon copy of his, nor would I want it to be.  There are many things that he is passionate about that hold little interest for me.  And I'm pretty sure the pleasure in owning every Judas Priest album ever  holds less than no interest for him.  It doesn't matter.  It's bigger than that.  It's about how he looks at life.  It's about how he treats his family.  It's about the priorities he makes.  It's about the kindness he shows others.  Those are things that I try to emulate.  My brother is awesome.

So Saturday night, we are sitting at the baseball game and I can't help but think about darts in backs, ripped underwear, stray water balloons, and the knowledge that it's not okay to flip my brother off.  I'm happy to report that none of those things happened this weekend.  In fact, not a ton was said between he and I during the game.  But when you've lived all of those experiences together, I suppose you don't always need to communicate through words.  It was enough to sit with him and enjoy the evening, our wives and the brotherhood that continues to grow stronger.  I love my "big" brother.

Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin into the future

Anyone that has followed me on Facebook, or been on the receiving end of an email or greeting card of some kind, knows that I am someone who enjoys words.  As I close in on my 40th birthday and as I watch my daughter grow, I've become even more sentimental and more aware of how great this life is and how quickly it moves.  In an effort to try and capture some of these moments and thoughts as they speed by, I've decided to start a blog.  I think the whole idea of blogging can be a bit narcissistic.  So please know that I don't think that my perspective on life is particularly groundbreaking or wise or special.  However, I do have a couple of people in my world that for whatever reason, seem to value my thoughts.  Granted, most of them are related by blood or bound by law to have to root for me, but nonetheless...
I am going to assume if you are reading this, that you already know me and most of my story, so I'm not going to "set you up", I'm just going to dive into where I am today and my thoughts as they hit me.

Recently, I feel like I'm being hit in the face with reminders of how fragile we are, of how quickly life can change, of how fast it all goes by.  One of my best friends is currently battling brain cancer, another just found out that his sister has breast cancer.  Dick Clark, who I was convinced simply did not age, passes away.  The anniversary of the Murrah bombing.  My 40th birthday on the horizon.  All of these things remind me of how blessed most of us are, and certainly how blessed I've been.

I also am, for maybe the first time in my life, starting to feel a bit of the crush of time.  Aware of the fact that my life is speeding by so quickly and perhaps I'm reaching the top of the ride.  I realize that probably sounds a bit mellodramatic and perhaps it is.  My Dad passed away at 53.  While I'd like to think that I'm in better health than he was, I constantly think about his passing and compare it to my life.  If I live as long as my Dad did, I'm well past middle age.  Sobering thought.  Heck if Dick Clark, a man who seemed immune to aging dies at 82 and I live to be that age, then I am cresting the top of the hill of my life.

How did I get here?  Entering "middle age" seems impossible to me.  Just yesterday I was at the El Reno Municipal Pool spending countless summer days doing a bunch of not much and generally being care free.  In the blink of an eye it's passed.  What have I done with my life up to this point and am I content with the way I've spent my days?

I look at my beautiful wife and most amazing daughter and I'm amazed at how lucky I am.  I think about how much I love my job and the people that surround me and I'm certainly content with where I am.  Yet, I look back and mourn missed opportunites.  Chances I didn't take.  Days I've "wasted" that are never to come again. Man there is so much I think I would have liked to have done or changed.  But then I stop and realize that if I had done anything different.  If I had made one different choice, spent one day doing something other than what I did, my current reality could be completely changed. 

A changed present is something I'm not willing to bargain.  Those of you that have known me for any length of time know that I spent a LONG time in the "wilderness".  I spent a long time looking for happiness, looking for myself, looking for peace.  I'm not sure that I believed that life could be as good as it currently it is.  Yet here I am....content, mostly at peace, loved.  I'm convinced that all of that searching, every horrible decision I made (and I've made a ton), every hurdle that I fell over it all led me to this very moment.  How can I be anything other than thankful?  How can I regret a single moment?  How can I wish for anything different than what was? 

I can't and won't.  I love my life.  Truly.  So bring on "middle age".  Let me crest the hill.  If the result of the second half is anywhere near as good as the results of my first half have been, then I will indeed have led a "charmed life"... And having a full head of hair is overrated.  I'm holding on for the ride.